When I write in English, Spanish and so on, this means that I don´t want other Russian people to know what is in my brains. Maybe it´s even good that grand amount of those whom I know don’t know any other language. It helps me to stay alone, without an exessive attention from their side. I may make mistakes in my posts, but it doesn’t matter. If you can read this, you will understand what I try to say, yep?
10 minutes have already passed since I finished watching “United States of Lealand”. May be you didn’t even heared about it, may be you don’t like it – it´s your choice and I take it easy.
Lealand said he began to see the sorrow in other men´s eyes, he began to look at world within these eyes. “You can look at world Wwith either happiness or sorrow” – he put, and I understood that the latter is my case. Since my 15th or 16th I can’t do it in another way, I unlearned to feel happy. The more I was seeing the movie, the more I was thinking that we are very analogous with Lealand. Like him, I did fell in love with one girl, and I still love her. But I know that we are too different to be together. Maybe I´m just a covard that I didn´t said her about my feelings, or something more, but time is up – and now is too late to speak to her about it. Maybe she has already found the one that fits better in her life than me. Maybe, maybe, maybe… I know only that it doesn’t drive me up to the wall, there are only a sorrow and this sweet feeling we call “love” in my soul and my mind.

I gotta long long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I gotta long long way I know
Before I can say goodbye
To all I ever knew, to you
To you...

Remember it? It’s the song about me. I feel that I’m starting to loose my life. Who’ll help me? I don’t know.
Vale. Dejalo.
It’s the other story and I won’t tell it to anyone. Bye. Wish you not to be me.
See ya. 

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